Thursday, December 14, 2006

Coffee doesn't work

I'm not a regular coffee drinker and that's a problem. Especially when my eyelids are sagging and I just can't bring myself to think lucidly about which way staples go in the stapler.

When you're not a regular coffee drinker, and you get a cup of coffee, the reaction is a bit different. Sure, you perk up just the same, and your concentration is slightly better. But what you concentrate on is not healthy.

For instance, almost immediately after taking a few sips this morning, I immediately felt sad and paranoid. I kept thinking about my lack of contribution to a pub quiz game yesterday and became depressed about my precipitous decline in "smartness."

So, no more coffee for me. I shall, instead, slap myself repeatedly in the face while singing the unused Ween jingle for Pizza Hut.

http://www.dancingjesus.com/ween.htm

1 comment:

Ghetto Photo Girl said...

I'm allergic to caffeine (lamest allergy ever), so it's rare that I drink coffee. But when I do, I get completely caught up in how good it tastes. Which then keeps me from focusing on anything else. At all.

Then I break out in hives.